Anxiety Attack

Anxiety Attack

I can feel my heart beating,
A machine gun in my chest.
Pretty sure I'm gonna die,
This will be, my place of rest.
My breath is short and stifled,
And heart continues to race,
Absolutely certain now,
This will be my resting place.
I' m starting to feel weak now,
And finding it hard to stand.
Prepare now to shut my eyes,
With no-one to hold my hand.
My muscles ache all over,
This chest pain cannot be right.
Absolutely has to be,
The day I lose the big fight.
Terror has overwhelmed me,
Void but for feelings of dread.
There's terror and foreboding,
In this...wait...still thinking, head!

The Time Machine

The Time Machine

If H.G Wells rang my bell,
With his time machine in tow,
Would I jump, a few years back,
Our first date, be that "no show"?

Avoid all of this heartache,
Feelings like life can't go on?
Walk straight past, the day we met,
Let time now alter the song?

A new time stream location,
Erect an emotion wall?
Set a limit to my love,
To restrict how far I fall?

Go back, and soil our love,
Sabotage everything dear?
Make a premature retreat,
As that fateful day draws near? 

Should I use Well's great power,
To save future loss and pain?
No, there really is no doubt,
I would choose it ALL again!

Treading Water

Treading Water

Slipping and sliding,
On frozen cold emotion.
Seems to matter not,
The depths of my devotion.
The power of love,
Not enough to bring you back.
All gone off the rails,
Now my engine lacks a track.
Better part of me,
Departed at the station.
Only your return,
Can offer me salvation.
What am I to do,
Facing life alone is grim.
Drowning in a sea,
Treading water while I swim.

Calculation Error

The universe is broken,
There is something not quite right.
Absence clearly present here,
There has been an oversight.

A huge miscalculation,
We're a sum more than ours parts.
Error in the master plan,
To break up these loving hearts.

Is something wrong with Karma?
Was told you reap what you sow.
She was selfless to the end,
So some just deserts should flow.

No more equilibrium,
The balance is off by far,
To take the very best of me,
Leaves a never healing scar.

I Would

I Would

I'd kiss your lips more often,
Make more time to stroke your hair.
Take more pictures of our love,
Of the moments that we share.

I'd be a better husband,
Never fail to hold your hand.
Try to see your point of view,
Do my best to understand.

I'd never be too busy,
You would always have my ear.
Hold you tight when you are down,
Help to dry up every tear.

I'd cherish every moment,
Never back down from a dance,
These are all the things I'd do,
If we had a second chance.

One Priceless Second

One Priceless Second

Our own perfect place,
Not a care here in the world,
No loss, pain or suffering,
A utopia unfurled.

Our own secret place,
For just one second a day.
A place we can be alone,
And it's not so far away.

Nearly there again,
Before consciousness sets fast,
For a second, waking up,
I forget that you have passed.

Bargaining With Thin Air

Bargaining With Thin Air

I would give the world right now,
For your return in to my arms,
Buy every bunch of heather,
And more such lucky charms.

Would not take you for granted,
As you wont always be there,
Make the best of every day,
Give you all my time I swear.

I would be a better man,
The improvement you would see,
I would give you anything,
If you'd just return to me.

Pray to a god in heaven,
Though I never have believed,
False promises I cannot keep,
For this pain to be relieved.

If Only

If Only

If only we'd learned of this sooner,
Took action as quick as could be,
Questioned the signs laid before us,
Second opinion? No let's have three!

If only we lived another lifestyle,
Went jogging three times a day,
Off to the gym and then swimming,
Would this have kept fate at bay?

If only I had treated you better,
Looked after you passionately,
Took on more responsibility,
Bore more of our load onto me. 

If only I had shown my love better,
Never argued or brought you to tears, 
Would you have fought harder to stay my side?
Not this nightmare, my pinnacle of fears.

If only time travel existed,
I'd go back, have our time again,
Looping the loop through our favorite days,
No how, no where, just when.